


This Hotel Is Haunted

by AmyIsARealPhelps



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: BAMF Klaus Hargreeves, Crossover, F/M, Holidays, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon, Protective Ben Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 19:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18976879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyIsARealPhelps/pseuds/AmyIsARealPhelps
Summary: After the not!Apocalypse, Allison decides that some family bonding is needed and what better way to do that to go on a Hargreeves family holiday to an English manor haunted by some slightly eccentric ghosts. What could possibly go wrong?Alternatively known as the crossover fic between Ghosts on BBC and the Umbrella Academy that literally no one but me wanted. YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE SEEN GHOSTS TO READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS FIC.





	This Hotel Is Haunted

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy a little insight into my brain because the fic I wanted didn't exist so I thought writing it would be a good idea. I guess we'll see. IMPORTANT: Allison= Number 3. Alison (1 L) = one half of the couple that run the hotel, hope that makes it a bit clearer.
> 
> Just a little background for y'all if you haven't seen ghosts and are interested: a couple (Mike and Alison) move into an old house haunted by ghosts that in the TV show only Alison can see. The ghosts I've used in this are Thomas (an over dramatic poet known for obsessive crushes - in the show this crush is on Alison), Julian (a sleazy politician, whose very sexual and corrupt), the Captain (WW2 army captain who likes order), Pat (a scout troop leader who is ever the optimist), Fanny (Edwardian woman who is a bit of a snob) and finally Mary (peasant woman killed in the witch trials). 
> 
> The trailer can be found here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5e0nB1mSd9Q

When Allison suggested that the family take a holiday to a very old mansion-turned-hotel in the middle of absolutely nowhere, England, some family members were less pleased than others.

In fact Luther was the only sibling in agreement and that may have been more due to the fact that it was Allison 's suggestion than anything else. Oh and yes, as team leader, it was his responsibility to encourage team- sorry family- bonding.

Eventually though, they were all convinced with threats, bribes and promises ("yes Diego, Mom is included when I say family holiday, Klaus if you don't go your skirts will be returned to my closet and finally Vanya, I promise we can have some proper sisterly bonding, look there's a spa!") with all going bar Pogo, who had the very very important job of looking after the house. In reality, it was more that going on holiday with the children would be more stressful than staying at home - Five had to say he was in agreement but someone needs to keep the idiots safe and that responsibility fell to him of course.

~

"First guests today." reminded Alison, leaning on top of the slightly wobbly check-in desk Mike had bargained for at the local car boot sale (their budget still hadn't recovered from fixing Mike's attempts at DIY).

"Let's make me some mons babyyyy" cheered Mike fist bumping the air before withdrawing his arm slowly at Alison's raised eyebrow, "Oh right, professional I've got this. Silence is my middle name."

Alison let out a long puff of air, checking her watch for the umpteenth time this minute, the guests could be here any moment now.

"Sooooo,"drawled Mike, clearly not a champion of sponsored silences, "any of the" , he lowered his voice dramatically, "ghosts around or are we all clear?"

Alison rolled her eyes, a small grin gracing her lips "Nope" she said popping the 'p', "they promised they would stay out of the way." In truth, the Captain only agreed they would stay away to begin with was because reconnaissance was better in secret but hey what she doesn't know can't hurt her right?

Mike sighed in relief ; the knowledge that someone could be watching him on the toilet without his knowledge still gave him the creeps two years on.

The screech of tires across gravel followed by a faint crash (they never liked that statue really) broke the momentary quiet. The guests were here.

~

Squashed between the two very big egos (and one very big body) of Luther and Diego had caused the longest 4 hours of Five's life (longer than the entire 45 years he spent in the apocalypse) and it took all his willpower to not immediately teleport out of the taxi, after all, he'd promised Allison that he wouldn't use his power unless it was a life or death situation.

It seemed that England hadn't been all that fussed about the Umbrella Academy so here they were just another group of dysfunctional humans (and one very human looking robot).

There was brief glare-off between One and Two over who was entering the hotel first (Klaus' chants of fight were quickly stopped by a well placed elbow from Vanya) before Allison pushed her way through, running over Luther's toes with her suitcase when he looked like he was going to protest.

The foyer was thankfully big enough for the entire family plus their luggage - why Klaus needed 6 suitcases for a week long break was still under debate - and they were promptly greeted by a couple at the check-in desk.

"Welcome to Button Manor Hotel!" chimed the couple in perfect synchronisity.

"Someone..." began the man.

"He means himself, Mike" retorted the woman

"...forgot to ask for exact names when you made the booking so if we could have them now that'd be awesome." continued Mike.

"Please." added the woman.

The Hargreeves looked at each other in badly disguised amusement.

"The big man on the left is Luther, the dude with the face scar is Diego, the woman next to him is Grace, the idiot wearing a feather boa -" began Five in a condescending tone.

"Hey!" retorted Klaus, "I'll have you know that I look fabulous, Ben agrees with me."

" No I don't" claimed Ben, although he was only heard by Klaus (and the woman at the check-in desk but he didn't know that yet).

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," glared Five, " the small woman with the violin is Vanya, the other woman is Allison and I am Five."

"Hey cool nickname little man!" grinned Mike, holding his hand out for a fist bump which Five promptly ignored. For the second time that day, Mike withdrew his arm with a grimace.

"Right I think I've got that all down." the woman swiftly said to alleviate the tension that was building in the room. "Oh silly me, I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Alison too"

"We know. You have a name badge on. " retorted Five, sounding unimpressed.

"Oh oops" stammered Alison " I .. Uh.. Forgot? "

Five rolled his eyes ; he was surrounded by even more idiots than usual. Oh how he wished Delores was with him right now so the collective IQ in the room could be increased, but no she was with her friends in the department store where she belonged.

"Right are you ready to go to your individual rooms now? " interjected Mike, Alison looked thankful for the save before her eyes widened in shock.

"I'm so sorry I haven't taken your name" she exclaimed looking straight at Ben (he was attempting to balance on top of Klaus' penguin suitcase) or as it was viewed by everybody else (apart from Klaus), the empty space around their suitcases.

Ben was shell-shocked. Surely this woman couldn't see him? He looked towards Klaus for help, who, as was expected, was no help whatsoever as he was busy imitating a fish. Diego shuffled nervously. Grace continued to stand there, a perfect smile stretched across her painted red lips. Allison and Vanya looked at each other trying to convey with eye notions their concern towards the mental state of the woman, Alison. Luther just looked confused but that's nothing new.

Mike grasped Alison around the shoulders, "Sorry about my wife, she had an accident not too long ago and it left her a bit well..." he trailed off, making a circular motion with his finger next to his head, a supposed-to-be-comforting-but-actually-slightly-terrifying smile on his face. Alison ground the heel of her shoe into his toe in revenge and the smile drooped and fell.

Awkward silence filled the foyer until Klaus snapped his jaw shut and shrugged helplessly "no harm done?" in a less than reassuring tone.

" Right. Rooms! " said Alison clapping her hands together making Vanya jump and stamp on Luther's toe. Luther winced. Vanya didn't look very apologetic, he was still not forgiven for the whole locking her in a glorified cardboard box thing so the jump may have been slightly less of an accident than it appeared (but shush).

The Hargreeves looked at each before deciding to ignore what has happened. They were here to relax after all and that was just a coincidence right?

~

Klaus and Vanya were chilling in Vanya's room - according to Klaus she had the best view in the whole hotel but, considering her room overlooked the statue the taxi driver broke earlier, she was less than inclined to believe that excuse but she wasn't complaining about the company - when Klaus exclaimed that she should play her latest musical creation for him because he was her favourite brother after all.

Vanya agreed but only on the condition that he invited Grace too ; at Diego's insisting they were trying to involve their Mom in activities more. And Grace had always expressed interest in Vanya even when no one else did.

Thomas, man (well ghost) of art was in love. Forget Alison for this Vanya had the key to his heart. She could create music to accompany his scripture, it was a match made in heaven. He sat against the wall whilst she chatted to the man with the terrible dress sense and began composing his declaration of heart.

"Oh Vanya- such a musical name -my Vanya how my unbeating heart longs for thee.. What rhymes with thee?" composed Thomas. " you are as sweet as tea? No not good enough. I must be better than this for this angel! " he declared passionately.

Just at that moment Klaus bounded out of the room in search of Grace, his infamous pimp coat billowing behind him having heard Thomas' confessions of moments prior.

"You're barking up the wrong tree sugar plum, my darling sister is a raging lesbian, darling" he advised as he strode past.

Thomas stood up aghast. The woman of his dreams would deny his affections so soon?

"I will never love again" he cried but his wails soon cut short. This man, Klaus, was alive. But he could see and hear him, a ghost? He was truly baffled "this calls for a meeting with the Captain" he declared, seemingly over his heartbreak almost instantaneously.

Julian was testing his newfound ability to touch by attempting to poke Grace in her well, perfectly formed assets, as once a sleazy politician always a sleazy politician when Klaus swanned into the room with a carefree grin on his face. Julian ignored the man as it wasn't like anyone could see him, Alison wasn't here to tell him off and she was the only one who could see ghosts right?

Klaus' grin faded into a look of outrage. "Get your hands off my Mom!" He cried. "Being dead doesn't give you any more right to molest anyone human or not. She may be a robot but she's got feelings and does not deserve to be violated" he began to rant.

Eyes widening, Julian gulped, for once feeling guilty. Klaus' hands glowed blue and all of a sudden Julian was flying out of the room, landing in the gravel outside. This new development was one of concern he decided, the Captain must be informed.

"What was that about Klaus dear?" questioned Grace her features glitching slightly in confusion. Her external sensors could not pick up whoever Klaus was angry at and this worried her.

"Just ghosts Mom you know how it is" muttered Klaus, slightly out of breath from the rant and using his powers. He jumped, body language changing instantly, "now come on, Vanya is going to play for us! " he cheered any trace of anger disappearing.

~

Ben was exploring the hotel when he over heard unfamiliar voices causing him to jump behind the door frame, he dormant training instincts kicking in. Peaking around the frame, he spied a group of strangely coherent ghosts (the body holding a head was a big clue that these people were not alive). Slightly suspicious he decided to eavesdrop on what was obviously a very important meeting.

"So what does everyone think of our first guests then guys?" Pat cheerfully asked. "I for one, am looking forward to seeing how they behave." He beamed.

Fanny scoffed. "Disgusting bad mannered scoundrels. Have you seen the way those women dress? That Vanya looks like a man and that Allison is showing so much skin it's so unladylike" she complained, her lips curling in disgust.

" But what about that other woman, Grace? She seems delightful" Pat enquired, always the positive one of the group.

"Now that is a fine woman, the perfect housewife and female specimen" interjected the Captain, blushing when he realised what he had said. After all, he was supposed to be keeping his reputation of being emotionless intact.

"Not a real woman, she's a robot." Julian added lazily from where he was sprawled across one sofa.

"What?!" exclaimed his fellow ghosts bar Thomas. Thomas however was more interested in how Julian came upon the knowledge in the first place. Was it from the strange man with the unusual dress sense?

"There's a man here-" began Julian.

"Klaus can see you too?" interrupted Thomas. "He brought the most devastating news about my unrequited love." This was the point at which every other ghost tuned him out, they had little patience for his dramatics.

"Tis witchcraft!" stated Mary coughing up smoke as she spoke.

"Well this calls for only one solution." said the Captain, straightening with an aura of self importance larger than Luther's before the not-apocalypse happened. "We must confront this Klaus fellow!"

This was the point where Ben decided that he had heard enough. Klaus was finally sober and Ben was not having a bunch of egotistical ghosts ruin his progress by bombarding his brother. He burst from behind the door frame straight into the path of the ghosts.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!" roared Ben, the eldritch tentacles ripping through his stomach and grabbing the group of ghosts. Now it was safe to say that the ghosts were completely and utterly unprepared for a situation like this and unable to get themselves free.

Luckily for them, Ben was quite loud. Loud enough to wake both Alison (and therefore Mike) and Klaus (who has never been good at being sneaky so he also work the entire family) who came rushing into the ghost meeting all in various states of dress. At any other moment in time Ben probably would have laughed at Diego's pink, fluffy, bunny slippers but at this moment in time he was too preoccupied in the defence of Klaus.

"For the love of all things holy what is going on, why are you threatening the ghosts in my house?" questioned a very perplexed Alison.

At the same time Klaus also has a query of his own "Uh Ben why are you turning ghosts into sushi you hate your power?"

Alison and Klaus looked at each other in disbelief. Ben retracted his tentacles satisfied that his point had gotten across and promptly dropped all the ghosts on the floor. Upside down. Well they deserved it okay.

"You can see ghosts too?" stuttered Alison, eyes wide.  
Klaus chuckled "Well duh it's kinda my thing. Wooh-hoo Number Four at your service madam." he bowed channelling the energy of a circus master in a film he'd seen once (rehab has a lot of child friendly movies for such an unchild friendly place).

Alison felt like she was missing a key detail here. Mike, however seemed a bit quicker on the uptake. "What did you say your surname was again?" He asked.

" We didn't "mused Five.

" but it's Hargreeves " Allison quickly interjected before Five could say anything else sarcastic or insult the intelligence of the hotel owners (the little Gremlin has insulted every Starbucks manager on their disgusting coffee standards- the complaint count has nearly reached the hundreds it's slightly worrying but that's a problem for another day).

Alison looked at them all with a blank face. And then, bam! The penny dropped and so did her mouth.

"You're the Umbrella Academy" she stated in embarrassment.

"Well now that's all sorted I think me and you're going to be great friends darling" boasted Klaus, his face splitting with a mischievous grin "We can bitch about ghosts together!"

**Author's Note:**

> So you made it to the end and I hope you liked it! This isn't beta read so any mistakes are mine so please point out anything major :) Sorry if any of the characters seemed a little OC, I tried my best to stay true but it's very difficult writing American characters with an English mind XD
> 
> I hope I didn't confuse any of you none Ghosts viewers too much, in hindsight I should have wrote less of Allison Hargreeves to lower confusion but I'm allergic to planning so oops. If you have any questions please ask, I'm not a writer (I don't think I've written anything creative since my English language GCSE) so any constructive criticism is welcome alongside and comment.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


End file.
